42. Not so much a valley ...

as a freight train veering off the tracks or one side of an overloaded balance hitting the table or a tornado leveling an unsuspecting town. It wasn't the valley or maybe it was, but it feels more like a temporary moment of psychosis. I was fine at work, even had a humorous ranty post planned about the ladies at work who complain about needing to lose weight and then in the next breath mention that they cheated on their jenny craig or weightwatchers or whatever by eating six cupcakes or swooping down anytime there are sweets in the office. I started to lose it on the way home from work and then walked in to a house that was infested with fruitflies and my pants were falling down and I was just done. There was no pulling me back from the brink. I fell over the edge into a dinner of cheezeburgers french fries and ice cream. Fortunately Jordan was around to talk me down and help me get back on track. I had been planning on skipping the workout but he got me to at least do the triceps exercises and 8 minute abs, which are the muscle groups that need the most work. So even by the end of the night I was perking up, although I did cry myself to sleep.

I'd actually forgotten what it was like to be consumed with that sort of irrational emotional craziness. It used to consume me a couple of times a month and I'd just lose it and cry and cry and cry and eat crap and just feel insane and shitty. Yesterday was the first time I truly felt like that since we've started. Yeah I've had bad days and angry days but nothing like yesterday. Maybe Patrick's prediction of emotional stability is actually happening for me.

Today is much better. I still feel the visceral effects of the crazy attack which are a tired heaviness with a little bit of frailty thrown in, but mentally I'm great. My diet has been spot on today and I'm looking forward to the jumps when I get home. I'm starting to plan what I'm going to take when I go back to Pittsburg this weekend and bought a cooler to keep it all cold. I got the actual requirements for the firefighting test and on the surface it looks doable. Lots of stair climbing. They haven't told us when the test is but it's sometime between Sept. 27 and Oct. 31 so I should be at peak condition for it.

Thanks for the support guys. We can do this. I can do this. Go Team Badass and Team Sexxay and Team Patrick!

Also, I really need to buy a belt that I can wear to work. And, I just resisted the people that came around selling bakesale leftovers