It has been a whirlwind of a week that probably culminated yesterday in me breaking down into tears 5 times in 3 hours (twice regarding food, twice regarding a take-home stats test and computers not running the needed software and once for having to work and being so so sick of work). I'm really looking forward to the emotional stability that Patrick talked about in today's email, because I'm obviously not there yet. I guess I'm still stuck in the zit stage.
Actually, I'm in the hello cheekbones stage. I woke up the other day and it was just like bam! I've got mega cheekbones. The lack of salt and booze is working wonders; my face hasn't been this un-puffy-chubby when I haven't just been sick in I can't remember how long. I can't stop looking at myself in the mirror, I still look mostly the same, but it's like when you get a dramatic haircut and every time you see yourself you just pause for a little bit to verify that you are indeed looking at yourself.
This weekend was mega stressful with work and a math test and more work and surprisingly enough, what kept me feeling grounded enough so that I didn't totally lose my mind was the diet. The diet is maybe not habit, but it definitely feels natural. I feel so good and really am not craving anything, except when I let myself get hungry by going too long between meals and then I get a sweets craving. I have no desire to drink at all, which is really surprising to me. I thought that I would miss it more, but I don't.
The exercises still aren't like that for me. I know that I'll probably never be a person who LOVES to workout, but I'd like to get to the point where I don't dread working out, well dread is too strong a word as I'm definitely making some progress on that front. But I still don't enjoy it really, especially the jumps. I love the resistance band stuff and the push-ups but the jumps and the lunges I'm not such a fan of. The lunges have been killing my knee so I only did two sets of them today. Getting down to exercising brings out my add tendencies. I get distracted, I dawdle, I stay on the internet after downloading my workout, I procrastinate. Starting tomorrow I'm printing out my workout sheets so that I have no reason to be on the computer when it's workout time. Hopefully it helps.
Oh and I ate the first tomatoes out of my garden today and they were intensely amazing. The flavor was almost overwhelming. Here they are:
A Green Zebra and a German Johnson. The Johnson is all cracked and looks ugly, but that's just what heirloom tomatoes do, and they make up for their looks with their amazing flavor.
the hello cheekbone stage sounds like a pretty cool stage! i, too, am loving the diet and feeling grounded as a result of eating so well - in fact, i would like to eat those tomatoes, right now, please!
ReplyDeletei think the emotional stability will come in it's own good time. i still feel overwhelmed by these big changes from time to time. daily life looks a lot different now than it did 18 days ago! and speaking of 18 days, i checked out your photos and can definitely see a big change since day 1. you go, girl!
Ah, it is a good stage when you really start to see progress. I feel so vain staring at myself in the mirror, but sometimes it's just like, really, that's me?!
ReplyDeleteEmotional stability will come, though, if you're like me, maybe not ever completely. :) I feel more balanced and more under control now, but I still have moments. At least as you fall into the diet, food becomes less of a worry. Just plow through the workouts! Some days will feel better than others.
Nice tomatoes! You have to balance the dread of workout with the joy of the results. Think not about the pain and sweat and boredom, but of the cheekbones.
ReplyDeleteHi PCP sister, Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteEmotional stability is a moving target. We need to cry, be angry, board to survive, there is nothing wrong with it. Whenever I get into the wind like that (and it happens a lot in sales guy life, one Q you are the king of the world, the next Q you are at 40%...) I ask myself “So what?” question, and if you will try to find the answers thing will be in perspective again.
I do not love the workout, but I love the feeling of completing it. When I started Aikido I also dreaded going to practice, It hurt when some beginner like you would do a wrong move and twist your elbow to pain, but I had a target to get a black belt, and I kept going again and again until I became better and could cope with many styles of practice.
You are on your way for Black Belt on PCP, a day at a time, be easy on yourself on the jumps, learning something a 8 year old (like my daughter) can pick up in a week takes use few weeks. When I trip I get to shout at the rope, that does not help but release some stress…
Love the tomato, I wish I could taste it.
Ilan
Deep breath! it sounds so cheesy to say that and i used to be skeptical of breathing until i started going to yoga.
ReplyDeleteSo jealous of those yummy tomatoes!! i bet they pop in your mouth. I'm surprised by how little i miss alcohol too. Although at the end of a long day of playing on Sat, I really wanted a BAT (beer after tournament). Told my teammate I couldn't and she totally respected that
You'll develop a rhythm for the workouts and then you'll dread them less. i struggle with the pcp exercises too and I used to be a fan of going to the gym and working out.
Haley, just looked at your photos and you are showing serious progress already!!!!! I can truly see a noticeable difference - very exciting!
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