75. Dude, stomach, what the hell is your problem?

Ok dudes, I thought I was finally feeling better, for about an hour this morning, and then I ended up contemplating pulling over on my drive in to work because I thought I was going to puke, and then actually puking at fire fighting class (not the smartest move to go, but I was so frickin restless that I thought maybe a big effort would be cathartic) but atleast I'm not incapacitating-ly tired anymore. Score! This stupid sickness thing does leave me with two questions:

1. Why when you're doing something really hard, do you get sick the minute things start to get easier. I was just starting to cruise along again, food was good, exercises were wicked hard, but my spirits were good, and then bam! super sick. Same thing always happened to me at the end of exams in school. I'd plow through studying, with tiny amounts of sleep and food and make it through to the end and then get so so sick on the way home and spend my entire break sleeping and being sick. I mean I guess it makes sense that when you push your body to the limit its going to break down, but I guess the main question for me is why doesn't the body break down during the hard parts, and instead waits until the stress abates to get sick?

2. What in the world made me sick? I feel like it lasted way to long to be food poisoning, besides which I'm only eating stuff I'm making with healthy foods? Did I not cook my eggs long enough? Did not wash something thorough enough?

I've been off the diet some in terms of grams and proportions, as one side effect of throwing up at least once a day is then later being totally starving. I've been keeping a lot to the brat diet (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast) with some egg and plain chicken and turkey and mushy veggies like tomatoes and avocado. So not so bad in the diet department for feeling mega gross, and really if I can eat healthily when I feel awful, I'd like to think I can keep it up when cooking doesn't feel like the hardest chore in the world.

I feel like my body has changed a lot, but I can't really be objective about it. The fact that I'm so used to seeing squishy Haley served me well at the beginning because I could see all the little changes, but now that I've gotten a little squishier, it's hard for me to notice what is less buff than it was a week ago, because I'm so used to squishy Haley that it's difficult to see the changes in reverse. I definitely feel weaker when I do the exercises, but still feel stronger than I was when I started. I can still see/feel the difference when I'm doing things like carrying groceries.

I would love to wake up tomorrow and have my stomach be fine, because I really feel like I'm wasting these precious few days of pcp. But I'm taking it as a good sign that Patrick's tip of the day was a total no-brainer for me. The only things that I can remember buying from the inner aisles of the store lately are cleaning supplies and cat litter. Hooray for doing something right.